Forgiveness is NOT a License......

.....to stay in YOUR MESS!


You've heard it over and over again "I'm sorry, I promise I will change - things will be different from now on..."  

Forgiveness is extended because we are commanded to forgive yet, not long after the tears, the pleading and the promise offense has made its way again, and again AND again.  When does the change come into play?! NEVER! WHY? Because despite the genuine desire to change and various attempts, it takes a lot more than words.  It truly takes humility to look within and know that it is impossible to do without God.

I DEMAND Respect!

How often have you heard or uttered these words: "I DEMAND RESPECT!"

I've heard them growing up as my parents quarreled and experienced it myself in my own marriage.

I remember an incident in which a male was very upset in a store and arguing with a cashier. He was cursing up a storm.  My husband was irritated by his vulgarity and told the man to have respect for his wife (me) and his children that were present.  The man surprisingly calmed down and apologized to us.

One day my husband and I got into a "heated fellowship" and he began to speak to me in a very disrespectful way. Of course, I was angry and hurt but more than anything I was puzzled.

How is it possible that you will take a stand and demand others to respect your spouse and not put the same demand on yourself!

CHOOSE: Temptation or Way of Escape?

Have you noticed when you make the commitment to "fast" the enemy quickly lays out his table of temptations?

- Suddenly your co-workers break out the Krispy Creme doughnuts and Starbucks coffee every morning!
- Your spouse spontaneously decides to take you out to lunch or a special dinner just because...
- As you drive, every billboard is an advertisement of delicious, tempting treats
- You receive an invitation to an event: wedding, birthday, family reunion, etc..
- Oh yes, let's not forget the temptation to "lick" our fingers if we are handling or preparing food for others!!

These occurrences were never an issue before.  Why now?

ANSWER:  Because you entered into a commitment.

Think about it.  What happens when you commit to join a gym? What happens when you commit to eating healthy? What happens when you commit to a project/hobby or ministry?  What happens when you commit to breaking a bad "habit"?

Recognizing God at Work

Its amazing how we can recognize what God is doing in others - rejoicing in their progress, and having empathy when they fail. We offer ourselves to pray for them and take the time to share inspirational messages to encourage them along the way.

Yet, on the other hand, we can easily overlook or minimize the work God is doing in our spouse because it does not look the way we want or it's not happening as fast as we want. We do not offer the same empathy or encouragement we extend to others. Instead we complain "when are they going to get it!!" and pin point where they still lack.

Be careful not to break their spirit as they are going through the process of God's working in them. Extend the proper recognition, encouragement and support and choose to be an instrument God can utilize to help along the way instead of being a stumbling block.

War of the Roses

Trailer #1
The War of the Roses at MOVIECLIPS.com

This is a clip of a 1989 movie called "War of the Roses" and although it is hilarious, the antics they succumb to are not that far off from depicting the attitudes, emotions, and behaviors of some of today's marriages.

Obviously this is NOT a Christian movie.  Therefore the couple in this film are NOT saved. BUT in comparison with couple's that ARE saved - how different are they or rather how similar?

If we are honest, we can identify with some of the attitudes and behaviors, although not as extreme as in this clip, but we ourselves possess similar ones during trying times.

From the outside looking in it seemed like a happy marriage - a fairy tale that I'm sure their friends admired.  This couple had it all: a great marriage, social life, wealth and success. Yet behind closed doors was another life.

Can YOU Please Just LISTEN!

Have you ever lost your head and screamed out either verbally or inwardly “CAN YOU PLEASE JUST LISTEN!!!!!!!!”?  Did it look something like this?

Oh, c’mon I know that I am NOT the only “Christian” who lost their head!  A matter of fact, there were several occasions.  Oh who are we fooling, this is our look whether we wear it on the outside or inside when there are issues to be discussed.  Am I right?  I’m not talking to those who “think” they got it all together in their fairytale marriage.  There is sarcasm there if you didn’t pick it up. :) There is no fairytale marriage.  ALL marriages have moments of conflict.  You may be saying, “not my marriage” we don’t yell at each other”. Maybe so, but I’m sure you had moments you wanted to!

Married For Life Blog

I just want to welcome you to my new blog!  I am very excited to share in-depth topics that pertain to every day life issues we face as wives, husbands and in our marriages.

A few years ago I started "Married For Life" Facebook Group and it is has grown to almost 300 members (296 to be exact).  I had taken a break back in 2011 until 2012 and felt the LORD pulling me back to it aggressively last year and clearly I understand why.  The sacred covenant of Marriage is being torn apart with the legalization of same-sex marriages.  Marriage and the family structure are being redefined by man.

Marriage is the union of one man and one woman according to God, Our Creator's design.  There is no evidence in the bible that states otherwise.  Rather there are countless scriptures both in Old Testament (Genesis) and the New Testament that confirms the relationship and it's function.  I wont' get into this now but will at another time.